Updated: Jul 22, 2018
Can it ever get too hot in bed? Can your partner make that extra effort to turn up the passion and really get things going? Or, is it all up to you?
They say sex is always best in the early stages of the relationship, where both partners are running on hormones, lust, and the passion is overwhelming and electric. It is during this time of the relationship where creativity is at its height and nothing is off limits? Or is it? Would you cool a enthusiastic lover based on some ideals from the past, or douse a romantic partner because his passions were too grand?
How many rules do you have in bed? What paradigms of what is acceptable or not are you hanging onto that may be stopping you from having nights of inexplicable passion? Many women have hard and strict rules about what’s okay for a nighttime pleasure, and what’s not. Often our mothers taught us these restrictions and confines, instilled in them about the proper etiquette in bed from their mothers, passed on from their mothers before them, and so forth.
Let’s ask these old ninnies why abstaining or refraining, holding back and saying “no” is better than squealing in glee, roaring while being ravished, and letting a man do “that thing” that curls your toes? Why have they taught us to be shy and demure when being sultry and demonstrative feels so much better. Who’s to say a feather and maybe some fur-covered handcuffs are not to be enjoyed, and flannel pajamas with wool-knitted socks are how we should come to bed.
What feels good to you should be your guide, not what was told to you by someone else. How you feel, how you squirm, what evokes a deeper emotion in you, is what love is all about. If two people both enjoy and agree on how far to take their passion, then how can any imposed restrictions get in the way? Nothing should be off limits if it is within the limits of the connection you share with your partner, and interesting to both of you.
Love making should include all the yummy indulgences life has to offer with mystery, intrigue, passion, play, ecstasy and euphoria. It should have naughty and nice, silly and sublime all mixed in. Of course, it should roar with passion and live in exploration for as long as you two are together. Nothing is too hot, too steamy, too on fire when two people are in love, connecting on a deeper level and fully being in their bliss.
My vote is there is no such thing as too hot in bed.
I don’t think any man in history has ever said, or will ever say, that my partner made it too hot in bed. In fact, I regret to say, that many men are more than happy to share the “tall tale” of his sexual exploits, and just how HOT last night was.
I too agree that there is no such thing as too hot in bed, however, I think what is important is exploring what hot means to both you and your partner. The optimal word here is “exploring”, and if this is done as a couple you will be surprised at just how hot it can really get.
The fun part is getting away from the traditional focus on the private parts, and moving into the head, and heart. A softly whispered story of walking hand-in-hand, along the beach, under the moonlight, stumbling across an isolated cove where the two of you slowly caress each other to the sounds of the waves, will tantalize the head, and warm the heart so much, that the private parts will be yearning for their chance to join the story.
So shed the rules and old ideas of what you thought hot sex should be. These are someone else's rule and beliefs not yours. Slip into something that makes you feel amazing and sexy, crack open the kama sutra, turn up the music, pull out the toys, listen your partner, feel your partner, and simply let the flow surround you. Now, that's hot!