Deepest Gifts...when a woman belongs to her man?
"I belong to you.", she whispered!
I never imagined these four innocent words could become hurtful to the one you love. That, however, is what happened this morning. Let me be clear I didn't say these words, instead my response was "No, you don't."
My response was instinctual. I didn't want her to be disempowered by feeling the need to belong to me. She is a strong, powerful and driven woman and does not need to belong to anyone other than herself.
Sadly, this wasn't the time she wanted to be powerful or strong or driven. She simply wanted to be connected with me on another level. I turned a perfect opportunity into a mess...
Why do we over complicate these moments and always think we should be politically correct in our responses? I think everyone has to answer this question for themselves. The key though is, that you DO take the time to answer it. Why did I do this?
As I sat in meditation afterwards I asked myself what is the truth behind the truth (A question we use in our relationship daily). The answer that came to me is that this is due to my own fears of failure and self-worth. It goes like this...if she belongs to me, then I need to take care of her. If I am unsuccessful, I can't take care of her. So it is safer to say, "No, you don't belong to me."
"I receive you!", is what I truly want and should have said. I want to be her protector, as well as her lover, and confidant. I will do anything and everything it takes to be SUCCESSFUL at that.
I have to realize that you can't have one without the other. This means that I have to accept the fact that I may not be successful at everything I try, but that she will always support me since she belongs to me, and I belong to her. We are a team, partners in life, and only with this belief fully ingrained in all areas of out life, will we be truly connected.
You are either withholding your love in fear or giving your deepest gifts freely. I choose to give my deepest gifts. Which do you choose? What have you said to your partner lately that isn't what you truly meant, but was done to hide your own shortcomings and fears?
What is the truth behind the truth?
I embrace my power. I know my feminine gifts and womanly talents. In my DNA, I have climbed a million steps with the women before me, who have forged the way so I can stand where I do today. I am alive at the greatest time in history, where I am equal, where I can have it all, be who I want, and not give a dam what anyone says about me. I know I get to be me. I have done the work to be here, despite the eons before me, where women were considered less.
Yet, there are sometimes, some days, some moments where I lay beneath my partner, still breathing deeply from connecting our two souls, when I want to surrender the Warrior princess that lives inside of me. The Joan of Arc, the Rosa Parks, the Elizabeth Tudor who all fought before me. I want to relinquish and forget the job, the PTA club, the PX90, and Vogue magazine that all demand I be something. I want to give up the stance and abandon the need to prove I am worthy, and instead, just “belong”.
It isn’t silly or too deep to comprehend, all humans have the need to belong. When I was a cavewoman, I belonged to a clan, as an Indian, pigmy, or aboriginal I was in a tribe. Throughout time, women have been a part of a group, forging, nesting, crafting, cooking, and creating; belonging to a collective. This isn’t slave times, where belonging means I am a possession. This is the new era where our spirits are energy that belong to a Universal idea, a calling, and a galactic vision. We all want to belong to something. Women especially crave the feeling of belonging. Belonging as one unit. Belonging through destiny, belonging completely, belonging via the heart.
Don’t presume I would ever down-grade myself to think I belong, (like a possession) to any man simply because history once dictated it. Don’t assume I consider myself a trinket to be housed or shelved for anyone’s amusement. I am a woman, a goddess, a divine energy capable of all things and in the beauty of that, I choose to belong. I choose to intertwine and belong to my lover, my best-friend, my partner in life. If I don’t belong to that, then what else is there? To aimlessly belong to nothing?
Why would belonging mean anything other then celebrating the union we share. I belong to you and you belong to me, and together we belong to our family, that belongs to this town, and collectively we belong to our country, that belongs on this planet. I implore you to move through the definition of a word and grasp a concept. Embrace the beauty, redefine the connotation, and breathe in the life of the idea. We all must “belong”, or what are we doing here? We each MUST belong to one another. What else is there to exist for?
Men for eons have had the job of taking care of, fixing, helping, saving, and slaying every dragon possible. They too were ridiculed, banished, cast out and made to fight with beasts simply to belong. For them, belonging was a fight, a necessity, that meant survival or death. How long has it taken for them to evolve, where their tender hearts have permission and space to just belong.
NOTE: Men…In that moment, when a woman surrenders herself completely, and says, she belongs to you…she is taking off her armor, laying down her sword, forgetting her lineage of obligations, and declaring her love to “belong”, full-hearted just to you.
Ask yourself what it is you belong to? Where do you belong? Who are you a part of? Where do you fit in and feel you belong? What gives you a sense of belonging? We all want to belong to something. What is it you belong to?