Have you ever wanted to be big? I mean super big?
When you think of being big, do you think of spotlights and limos, or book deals and speaking gigs? Do you imagine being big globally, where you command the stage, people listen to you, there is a business in your name, and you’ve created an empire?
Many women I know aspire to be big, grand, influential, important and inspiring. They want to make a difference on the planet. They have huge ideas for themselves and they go after it; never fear getting big.
During this morning’s meditation, I asked the Universe to give to me what I need to become “big”. I also desire to impact women on the planet, and be an influencer among them. Except, as soon as I thought about becoming big, my inner voice said, “No way! you don’t want to be big!” I paused for a moment, surprised by that inner response. I do want to be big, I said back to myself. Big in scope, big in possibilities, and big in helping others. I had to dig a little deeper to understand the inner workings of my mind against the idea of becoming big.
“Why don’t I want to be big?” I asked myself in my relaxed meditative state.
It wasn’t the typical answer one would expect. I didn’t hear my inner voice say, “Becoming big is hard. Maybe I won’t be any good, or people don’t like me.” Instead I saw in my minds eye a vision of me obese, huffing and puffing from extreme weight, unable to walk, move or do any kind of business. Being “big” brought visions of over weight and unhealthy. The idea of “big” in my mind wasn’t stardom or fame. It didn’t bring up feelings of success or opulence. I connected “big” to being big physically.
I had to sit back for a moment and process this information. I never realized, being big was connected to body size, not career goals. Subconsciously, I didn’t want to experience big, because I didn’t want to feel big in my skin. Big to me was a hindrance and detriment to my health, so the stronger part of my soul was saying no thank you. My underlining message was; avoid big at all costs.
I was amused at my minds inner-workings, and surprised at the connection it was making to being big in actions, versus big in form. The mind is so malleable and does what it is told, yet it also has that subconscious side that runs its own story-line in the background. Realizing this, I was curious as to what other plot-lines where going on in the recesses of my mind, that I wasn’t aware of. What other thoughts am I thinking consciously, yet unconsciously having a different response to?
Meditation is wonderful for connecting these two states, and this morning, I was able to access a deeper understanding of my minds inner perceptions. I bridged these two beliefs systems. One that desired big as a form of success, and one that saw big, as something resembling Jabba the Hut. I realized I would never accomplish my desires, if the inner idea of “big” was so negative. I needed to change my thinking so I could achieve the results I wanted.
Often, we search the back story, or the trauma in our lives to redefine our limiting beliefs. Many of us have had past failures and difficult situations that turn into limitations that hold us back. Other times, like this morning, there was no trauma, just awareness. The connection to my heart and mind was opened, and a truth was revealed. An awakening happened and it allowed change to occur.
The great news is, a new message to the brain is all that is required. In a few minutes, I found a new word to create the emotion I wanted. Successful, powerful, influential, and accomplished all better describe what I wish to happen. Each has a different frequency, that prompts a unique result. By using a word that better defines what I choose, I can get closer to my outcome. My body feels better, I am more aligned and the resistance is gone. There is a flow to my thinking and a freedom to go forward.
Our mind is so amazing and complex, yet it also has it simplicities and way of self-preservation. It can unravel complex ideas and then glitch in the simplest of others. The fun part is, unraveling the mysteries of how you think, and what is stopping you, from being the very best version of yourself. Who knew that “big” would have such a double meaning in my subconscious. Who would think that my inner thoughts would resist such a concept, because it connected it to something completely different. Who would know this?... only me. Only I can do the work to find my underlining story, to dig up the root cause of anything that holds me back. Only my mind can sort out my mind, and I share with you this uncovered conundrum, because I am sure you have your own. We all have reason we are not where we want to be. Yet, we don’t always know what those reasons are. If in in anyway you are not meeting your potential, or living smack-dab in the center of your dreams…it up to you to figure out what might be stopping you.
It might be an old notion, a silly word, or an association you had no idea you harbour. Take some time to sit quietly with yourself and ask you soul these questions:
What thought do I have that is no longer working for me?
What do I believe that I can let go of?
What story do I have running in the background that is preventing me from having my dream?
Sit patiently and in stillness and you shall have your answer. Be curious to find out what it might be.
Live Exceptional. You deserve it